The Giant Brain Squeezer

dear friends,

i'm hoping this won't offend (i understand we all have

different taste)

.... we're friends, right?

you like me for my honesty, no?

ok....

Recently,

i have witnessed an alarming new trend:

the giant brain squeezer

turns out,

otherwise stylish mommies

squeeze their children's growing noggins

into these horribly uncomfortable looking

flower bouquets.

why?!?!

what happened to the days when babies were allowed to be bald?!

if that ludicrous bow/flower on your child's

headband is biggerthan her face.......

you've gone too far.

if the size of the bow on her head exceeds the bows on

the packages neath your tree....

you need help

trust me.

nothing is more precious than a beautiful

un-bedazzled/headbanded baby.

as a child whose baby pictures spanned the 80's,

i'm no stranger to bizarre baby trends....

however....

Mom never stooped so low as to plant a

GIANT FLOWER

on my tiny head.

my brain was for growing ideas...

not plastic flowers.

*the only way i can possibly justify this tacky trend

is if your child is so

horrifyingly hard- to- look-

at that you desperately need a distraction from its angelic face.

please.

let's stop the madness.

your baby will thank me.