Monday, February 9, 2009

Riddle me the Rattle Snake

OK so here is a story that goes a little something like this.

Once upon a time there was a girl sweeping up the leaves on her patio. It was a nice day, sunshine about 67 degrees. The perfect spring day in February. All of the sudden she hears a "chchchchchch".... wth? She looks around to see where dog was, thinking perhaps he was messing with a... plastic bag. Nope, dog is inside. There is only one other creature that can make that sound....

DUN DUN DUN.

RATTLE SNAKE in the leaf PILE.

"high pitch scream"

Run inside the house.

Call Animal control and has a conversation that goes a little something like this...

Girl: "um, hi I have rattle snake on my patio."
AC: "what does it look like"
Girl: "I don't know I hear it rattling in a leaf pile"
AC: "Then how do you know its a rattle snake'
Girl: "Because I freaking grew up and Florida and watch Venom ER I know what a rattle snake sounds like"
AC: Well we don't pick up snakes you need to call a snake removal service
Girl: Fantastic. Thanks.

Girl: Calls snake remover people
SR: Voice record- "We are open Monday through Friday and charge for snake removal"
Girl: WTF

Calls back Animal Control:
Girl: Yeah, I called the snake removal people and they are only open during the week and I have dogs and therefore need this snake gone NOW.
AC: OK, we'll send an officer out.
Girl: Thanks

Animal Control arrives on sight, wrestles the snake out of the leaves and places it in a black bag while girl stands a safe distance away.

Girl: "what kind of snake is it?"
AC: "possibly a pygmy rattler, someone probably had it as a pet and then let it out when they didn't want it anymore"
Girl: what irresponsible douch-bags!

Girl calls husband:

Girl: Hi babe we have a rattle snake in our backyard
Husband: ok.
Girl: well aren't you gonna do something about it?
Husband: I'm at drill on the base what do you want me to do about it?
Girl: I dunno, use your super husband powers or something.

Turns out the snake was actually an Eastern Diamond Back rattler and they are native to this area and probably had been chillin' in my leave pile for a few months. Thank God my dogs are about as sharp as a bowling ball and didn't pick up on a snake hiding there. So, this was my weekend. I have included the links above if you ever have a visiting reptile like I did.

5 comments:

Laura said...

I'm glad everything turned out okay for her;)

Linda said...

We need drama on the week-end! :-)
Love, Mama

Becky said...

How come the snake didn't eat the rats?

Becky said...

I am the House of Rabies you are the Hose of Venom!

Becky said...

I meant "HOUSE" of Venom - I did not mean that you were a hoser.